Motorsports are coming to a fork in the road.
We are now witnessing a time where more and more responsibility is being taken away from the driver, and placed into the hands of the complicated equipment which runs and supports the vehicle. In short, as technology has developed, and continues to do so, the more predominant it has become within the sport.
Gone are the days of one person, four wheels, and an engine strapped to them both.
Some would say we have been on this path for quite some time, and those people are right. Yet the short story which is presented below, wasn’t inspired by this (though it definitely touches on this theme), but by the willingness of F1 bosses and teams to include a level falseness within the the sport.
As I said last year, “From exhaust megaphones to titanium skid plates intended to create sparks, the FIA has tried these and many more cost effective measures to bring excitement back to Formula 1.”
In an age where innovation is driven by technological breakthroughs, the fabric of all motorsports will inevitably change. But toying with artificial measures that are easy on the eyes and ears take away the pureness of racing, and it’s this, albeit in a fun way, that I attempted to convey. Enjoy!
Innovation Over Spirit
“Ah, there you are!” shouted a man dressed in red. “Come right this way! We’ve all been waiting for you, and I can’t describe the excitement which has captivated the factory since the announcement was made.”
Glass doors opened into a lobby and the arrival’s eyes fell on four mounted race cars neatly arranged.
The man in red noticed and whispered, “The car you drive might be displayed along with these one day. Yes, I believe that you represent…”
Just then a person appeared behind them and spoke in hushed tones to the man in red before disappearing as quickly as they had come.
“Final preparations for your test have begun. I’m sorry, but we must make haste!”
They moved through another set of glass doors into a seamlessly never-ending corridor, which was lined with glass windows which peered into numbered rooms.
“This is our R&D wing, and as I’m sure you’ve already noticed, it’s quite progressive.”
They continued until they came to room 929, where the man in red placed his I.D. card on a panel to open its door. Once they had stepped inside the pair faced a large titanium box-shaped machine.
“Please, step right in,” he said as he opened the machine’s door. “This should only take a second.”
The arrival stepped up and into the machine then the man in red closed the door behind them. After he had pressed numerous buttons on a mounted monitor off to the side, the machine began to buzz but then instantly went silent.
“Done!” he said opening the door once again. The arrival stepped out in a brand new racing suit, his original clothes apparently vanishing into thin air.
“Ah, now there is our driver,” said the man in red clapping. “Come now though, we have very little time left to us and between you and me, these R&D guys can get rather impatient.”
As they left 929 he started to explain, “Now that we have your body protected we need to see about protecting that head of yours.”
He opened 951 and sitting on a pedestal in the middle of the room, was a red, blue and yellow striped helmet.
“You’ll notice we incorporated the visual design specifications your management sent over,” he said as he gestured to the driver to put on the helmet. “Go ahead, put it on, it’s yours after all.”
The driver rushed forward, picked up the helmet and placed it around their head. “Does it fit?” he asked, to which the driver promptly nodded.
“Marvellous! Now, your helmet comes with all the safety and technical features one can expect from modern motorsport; an outer shell of carbon fibre, plus an inner shell of thick polystyrene padding and a line of Yesmex fire retardation material which, you’ll find, also lines the inside of your racing suit.
Furthermore, the visor not only keeps out the pesky sun…” The man in red shone a bright torch from one of the driver’s eyes to the other. “…but incorporates an on-board screen where race updates will appear right before you. You will also see…”
He stopped as an individual interrupted once again; they spoke quietly and exited in a hurry.
The man in red smiled, “It seems that you and I are taking our time. Oh well, I’ll finish along the way. Come along.”
Whilst he continued to talk, they walked past rooms 961, 977 and 999. “You see, through your visor, you’ll also be able to update your Racebook status, or even upload cheeps on Chirper during the race.”
“Mmm-Hrrrmmpff!”
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you with that helmet on,” he replied. “Chirper is voice activated though! Go ahead and upload a cheap and I’ll receive a notification from you.”
“Mmm-Hrrrmmpff, Hrrrm, mmmph!”
Bing!
“Ah, here we are. ‘Isn’t that dangerous? #racesafety’. Oh! I would never let you do anything that would compromise safety,” he said, waving the comment away. “Here we are!”
They stepped into the final room beyond the corridor which contained a straight piece of asphalt that disappeared to the left and to the right.
“This is the beginning, and end I might add, of our private test track. The view is deceiving but it goes on for miles.”
Bing!
“Oh, soon enough. In fact here it is now.” He announced as he pointed to a small speck in the distance which was approaching rather quickly.
The distorted speck quickly turned from a blur to a race car and when it reached where they stood, it stopped abruptly and turned itself off.
Bing!
“The engine is powered by…well, a whole lot of scientific stuff which, to be honest, reaches well over my head. Anyway, as such, noise emissions can’t reach the old 150db. We’re lucky to reach 50db with this engine, but don’t let that deter you, the car is fast. I can assure you.”
He ushered the driver into the cockpit, and strapped the seat belts tight.
“Now, in regards to your social network apps. The track layout is uploaded into the car’s trajectory system so if you are distracted and go off route, the car will correct itself. Ergo, no need for you to constantly worry about driving the damn thing.” He explained as he tapped the driver on the shoulder and withdrew a racing headset.
Bing!
“Oh…” The man in red laughed. “No, not for the noise. It’s a clever little invention the teams have been trying out. Unfortunately, it seems the fans like the cars to make a noise these engines aren’t capable of. However, all you have to do with these is punch in a few numbers, and hey presto, the cars of today sound like the cars of yesterday. Today, I believe I will choose, hmmm… a 2000 V10!”
He then pulled the headset over his ears and said, “Now, just press that button in the control panel’s centre, sit back, relax, and leave the rest up to the car.”